"Just Keep Swimming. . . "

With the final days of my pregnancy closing in, I can't help but feel exasperated and more than ready for it to be all over. When I stop and think, I feel a little guilty. In an effort to maybe make myself feel better, I'm going to try and write about all the positive things I've experienced.

I am so incredibly grateful that everything at this point has not been in any way complicated. I thank god every day that this child is healthy and my body has been able to handle pregnancy so well. I can honestly say I was expecting this to be the absolute worst nine months of my entire life, and that I would be completely miserable the whole time. Now I'll admit there have been some things that have been challenging, but this really hasn't been as awful as I was expecting. You hear about women who really just have a horrible time and seem to experience every possible negative aspect of pregnancy. I really have it pretty easy. Ya, my feet are pretty swollen and I am constantly exhausted, but frankly that is really not too bad.


I haven't ever really felt like I was doing anything too special, what making a baby and stuff, after all anyone can do it. I haven't really been too amazed or proud that I actually have made a person, but when you stop and think about it, it's really quite the accomplishment. It's cool to think about my body providing everything this kid has needed to thrive and grow. My body has given this baby all the nutrients, oxygen, every single thing she's needed. That's pretty remarkable.

Even now I catch myself in honest disbelief with this whole pregnancy. Sometimes I really just can't believe that it really happened. I went for the longest time thinking this was never going to happen and that I would end up having to do IVF or something and I'd have 4 kids at once. It still amazes me that I am really going to be a Mommy and Chance is going to be a cute little Daddy. We are really going to be parents, it really happened, we started a family. I still think back to that day when I took the test and I wish I had words to describe how utterly astonished I was to look down and see a positive result. It was really the most amazing thing and I am so grateful everyday that we were able to conceive on our own. I really feel like it was a miracle.

I can't tell you how much that means to me to have such a wonderful and supportive husband. I really don't know how I would have survived with out him. He's been incredible through this entire pregnancy and I owe my sanity to him. He's never once been anything but completely enthusiastic and positive and it's helped me in so many different ways. Never once has he had a doubt in his mind about anything. He's willing to stand by my side thru anything life throws at us and that's the most awesome thing I've ever experienced. I will never forget the night we went to Applebee’s and out of the blue he looked at me and said "I can't wait until she is born, then I can help carry her around, and you won't have to do it all the time" and all the times he jokingly says "I'm sorry I did this to you". He made sure I understood that if for any reason her crying doesn't wake him up at night, that I am to wake him up because this is his kid too and he wants to help out with anything he can. This man is absolutely amazing and I'm so lucky to have him. He's going to be the best dad any little girl could ask for. Not to mention he's been incredibly helpful with anything I need around the house. He will cook, he will clean, he will do laundry and not once has he complained. He's always been more than willing to help me out with any silly little thing, even when I ask him to run downstairs and get me something stupid like underwear or socks. There is no one in this world I would rather have a kid with. He's absolutely amazing and I love him more than anything.

It's been so fun to buy all these adorable baby things. I love to try and imagine her in these cute little outfits we have. I am so excited to put her hair in cute little pig tails and head bands. Show her how to paint her nails and all the little girly things I suck at. I can't wait to take her camping and hiking, and I'm even excited for her Dad to show her how to ride 4 wheelers and dress her in camo. I can't wait for her to go fishing with her grandpa. I'm excited for her to play with her aunts and meet her whole family.

It's amazing to me how many people love her and she's not even born yet. All in all I truly am incredibly grateful for this. It's the most amazing thing I've ever done. I am so excited for her to be here so we can start our lives as a family.